THIS Friday, I was invited to speak about E.Q. to over 200 nursing students and some faculty members at the University of the Cordilleras.
How different would my talk have been if it were delivered to managers in a business environment? The answer is in the acronym, "C.Q."
C.Q.? What is that?
Here are excerpts of my talk:
To start with, E.Q., stands for Emotional Quotient, or Emotional Intelligence. This is often related to its "twin" acronym "I.Q.", Intelligence Quotient.
E.Q. is the ability to identify, evaluate, control, and express emotions.
I.Q. is the result of standard tests to determine intelligence level.
The usual question asked in any discussion on said topics would be:
"Which of the two is more important to have?"
A common answer would be: "Both are essential to have". However, to make the point, a usual one-liner to differentiate the two is: "I.Q. gets you the job; E.Q. helps you succeed in the job."
In the medical field, one may be a medicine or nursing board topnotcher, but may not do well in actual practice.
I have one medical doctor friend I would like to use as an example. He topped the medicine board exams many years ago. He practices in Manila.
He is close to being a genius. However, he has the personality of an introvert. He speaks in one or two sentences only. He would not indulge in small talk nor does he try to motivate his patients. He does not spend much time with each patient. He fails to communicate or explain the patient's condition in a manner that shows that he cares, even though he has a kind heart and is an expert in his field of endeavor. He simply meets, diagnoses and prescribes appropriate treatment to patients.
It is a pity because his fellow doctors seldom refer patients to him, and when they do, only as a last resort. To his close friends, he reveals his frustration that he could have saved many lives had he been able to see patients in critical condition much earlier.
Apparently, he has the I.Q., but he certainly could do well to have a super strong dosage of E.Q.
On the other hand, I have a doctor relative. He is a graduate of SLU Boys High, U.P. Baguio, and UERM. He has a "so so" academic record, but has built a very successful family practice in Orlando, Florida. From a solo practice, he now has 13 medical doctors and 80 staff under his employ. He owns two buildings where his medical team meets hundreds of patients daily. Dr. Pat Gonzales is amiable, sincere, patient, has a good sense of humor, and a generous heart.
Most of all, he is compassionate.
On a regular basis, together with his wife Liz, they come home to the Philippines and go on medical missions and pursue various charitable endeavors.
Yes, compassion is that one trait that each of us need to have, or when lacking, need to develop. Some people are naturally compassionate.
Others develop it over time. (and it is taking me so long!)
What is compassion as compared to its sister words "sympathy" and "empathy"?
Sympathy is feeling for others. (E.Q.). Empathy is putting yourself in the shoes of others. (I.Q.) And Compassion, in my opinion, is putting Sympathy and Empathy into ACTION. (C.Q.)
What is our C.Q.? Can we improve on it? Can we develop more of it?
Let me share with you 3 T's that may help us increase our C.Q.:
1. TACT – Know what to say and how to say it. Sometimes it may even involve silence, and not saying anything.
2. TIMING – When to say something can be just as important as what and how we say it. "Wrong timing" can diminish the power of what is said.
3. TRUTH – The Truth is found in the Word of God.
Luke 10:27 says: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself."
Compassion starts with LOVE. Jesus is a model of Compassion.
Ex. At the mountain, He was moved by compassion to physically feed the hungry, after He had filled them with the TRUTH.
He healed the suffering sick out of compassion.
He even raised the dead out of compassion for those who mourned.
My Dearest Medical Practitioners,
You are blessed.
You are constantly faced with suffering patients and family members who suffer with them.
You face victims of accidents. You face people in excruciating pain. You face people with terminal illnesses.
You meet patients with treatable illnesses if only they could afford the cost of medicines and of treatments.
Yes, you are in a position to enhance and express your compassion.
Be conscious of each opportunity to be transformed. Work on it.
Consciously aim and act to be compassionate.
I.Q. plus E.Q. plus C.Q. is YOU!
