BEHIND_SCHEDULE: I’m 29, working for a multinational company in Cebu. On paper, I think I’m doing okay. I have a decent salary. I help my parents with the bills and last year I finally bought a car. But lately, I feel like I’m failing.
It started with LinkedIn. Someone from my batch just became a director. Someone I used to work with announced that she’s moving to Singapore. Another former colleague is now working remotely from Bali. Someone else just bought a condo.
What am I doing with my life? I don’t have a fancy title. I haven’t traveled abroad this year. I’m still renting. Inside, I felt like I was losing.
How do I celebrate other people’s success without treating it as evidence that I’m not successful enough?
DJ: You’re living in a time when everyone else’s milestones are constantly placed in front of you. You don’t have to wait for a reunion to hear that someone got promoted, bought a house, moved abroad or landed a dream job. Your phone delivers the comparison to you every morning. Of course it affects you.
Social media is particularly good at showing outcomes and very bad at showing the cost. We see the new car, not the monthly payments. We see the airport lounge, not the exhaustion from endless negotiations. We see the dream job, not the Sunday-night anxiety. And because everyone seems to be moving forward, we begin to believe that standing still is the same as failing. It isn’t.
If you were to look at my CV, the period when I traveled most frequently was also the time when it felt like my career wasn’t going anywhere. On paper, it looked impressive. But in reality, I was in exile. I won’t bore you with the details. Suffice it to say, the photographs would have told a wonderful story. The reality was another story altogether.
So don’t simply stop looking at other people’s lives. Learn to look at your own more honestly. With every highlight on social media, I know this is easier said than done. Someone becoming a director at 31 doesn’t mean you should become one at 31. Someone moving abroad doesn’t mean you should move abroad. Someone buying a house doesn’t mean you should buy one. Their milestone is information, not instruction.
Ask yourself: Am I learning? Am I becoming more valuable? Am I earning enough for the life I want? Am I building relationships and credibility? Am I doing work that aligns with what matters to me? Is my current path taking me somewhere I actually want to go?
If most of your answers are yes, you may be doing better than you think. If several are no, don’t panic. Adjust.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking that everyone is doing better than you, think about the five things that are going well. Not what looks impressive. What’s real.
A supportive family. A healthy friendship. A difficult situation you’ve survived. Your boss trusts you with important work. You have colleagues who genuinely respect you.
You need evidence from your own life to measure whether you’re doing okay. Not from your algorithm.
If certain accounts consistently make you feel inadequate, mute them. Curate your feed. Close LinkedIn if it ruins your breakfast. You don’t have to consume content that repeatedly makes you question your worth. Follow people who teach you something, challenge you thoughtfully, make you laugh or remind you that life is bigger than achievement.
There is no universal timeline for success. There is only the courage to keep becoming who you were meant to be. You don’t need to catch up with everyone. You need to stay faithful to the life you’re trying to build. Be kind to yourself. Your life is not underperforming just because your LinkedIn feed is overachieving.
Social media is not the whole story. Neither is yours.
