NEO99: I recently moved from a multinational to a family-owned business. The position is higher, the pay is better and I have more responsibility. But I underestimated how different the two environments would be. My previous company had clear processes, defined roles and predictable priorities. Here, my boss is a good person but extremely disorganized and unpredictable. One day, Project A is the priority. A few days later, it’s Project B. Then I’m asked why Project A wasn’t moving. Sometimes she says, “I trust you. Just handle it.” Later, it’s “Why didn’t you ask me?” I’m finding myself spending more time managing her behavior than managing the work. I’d really appreciate your advice.
DJ: Your salary went up. Your clarity went down. And “mind reader” is in the job description. The challenge is learning how to work effectively without becoming a full-time interpreter of your boss’ moods, instructions and calendar.
You probably can’t change her personality. But you can reduce the confusion around her. When priorities change, don’t argue about the change. Clarify it. Try: “Got it. If Project B is now the priority, should I move Project A to number two?” That’s a hugely different conversation from: “But you told us Project A was the priority.” See if this is going to be effective.
Your previous company taught you valuable things. Keep them. But don’t assume that family businesses are inherently chaotic. Different organizations have different operating systems. In a family business, there may be formal priorities and informal priorities. Observe what does your boss care about the most, which instructions are in fact suggestions, and when priorities change, who or what triggered the change.
Eventually, you may need to tell your boss, not complain to her, that you’re trying to understand how she wants you to operate. Tell her you want to make sure you’re supporting her the way she needs your work. You can ask her that if priorities change, would she prefer you to make the adjustment independently or she prefers that you check with her first.
You should adapt to the new culture. But you shouldn’t abandon good judgment and healthy professional standards just to survive it. Are you uncomfortable because the environment is truly dysfunctional or simply because it’s different? Is your boss inconsistent or are her decisions changing because the business itself is changing quickly? When she changes direction, does she explain why or simply expect everyone to magically know? Does she welcome clarification or punish people for asking questions? If you remove the bigger title and fatter paycheck from the equation, would you still consider this a good place to build your career?
Almost every boss is difficult in some way. Give it a year. If you’re growing, building something meaningful, earning well and your boss is at least receptive to improvement, learn. But if patterns prove you need a crystal ball instead of a calendar, the leadership is unresponsive and you are becoming a smaller version of yourself just to survive, consider taking the course elsewhere. And don’t make the decision on your worst day.
Sometimes the lesson of a difficult job is how to work in a different environment. Sometimes, it’s knowing what kind of environment you’d never want to work in again. Both are valuable lessons. And in your situation right now, which lesson are you learning? Personally, competence matters more to me than likeability. I prefer a difficult boss who is highly competent over a friendly boss who lacks judgement to lead well. One can bruise your ego. The other can damage your career. But that’s me. What about you?