“Just do the right thing.”
We say it as if the answer should be obvious; as if every difficult decision comes with a clear sign pointing us in the right direction.
But what happens when doing the right thing costs us money, threatens a relationship, or forces us to admit we were wrong? What if two choices both seem defensible, depending on where we stand?
The hardest decisions are rarely about knowing the rules. They are about deciding which values matter most when the easy choice conflicts with the right one.
The older I get, the more I believe that doing the right thing is less about finding a perfect answer and more about having a reliable moral compass. It means making choices we can defend not only to other people, but to ourselves—especially when nobody is watching and there is something to lose.
1. Do what you can defend to yourself.
One question I have learned to ask is:
If nobody knew about this decision, would I still make the same choice?
Doing the right thing begins with integrity; being the same person whether people are watching or not.
Reputation is who we are in the light. Character is who we are in the dark.
We can sometimes explain a questionable decision to other people. It is much harder to explain it to ourselves.
2. The right thing is not always the easy thing.
There are times when doing what is right will cost you.
I spent 24 years in the life insurance industry, first as an agent and later as an agency leader. Rebating—giving a client part of your commission to secure a sale—is illegal, yet extremely difficult to trace.
Several times, I was faced with large potential sales where I was asked to do exactly that. The commissions would have been substantial and I was in need of money.
I never did it. Not even once.
I may have lost the sales and the commissions, but I kept something worth much more: a clear conscience.
At times, doing the right thing may mean confronting a good employee because standards were violated. It may mean saying no to someone you love because saying yes would be unfair to others.
Integrity is tested not when doing the right thing is convenient, but when it costs us something.
3. Be fair, not necessarily equal.
One lesson I have learned in running businesses and dealing with people—especially family members—is that fairness does not always mean treating everybody exactly the same.
People have different responsibilities,
contributions and circumstances.
The question is not, “Will everyone be
happy with my decision?”
That is impossible.
The better question is: “Is this fair, reasonable and consistent with our values?”
Sometimes leadership means making a decision that some people will not like, but one you sincerely believe is fair to everyone concerned.
4. Think beyond today.
Wrong decisions can look attractive in the short term.
We can cut corners. Avoid a difficult conversation. Protect ourselves. Take the easy way out.
But eventually, we have to live with the consequences.
So think beyond today. What will this decision do to my relationships, my business, my family, my reputation and, most importantly, my peace of mind?
Final thoughts
At 78, I have made enough mistakes to know that we will not always get every decision right.
But we can always try to make decisions for the right reasons.
For me, doing the right thing means being honest, being fair, considering how our decisions affect others and being able to look at ourselves in the mirror afterward.
When in doubt, I come back to three simple questions:
Is it legal? Is it fair? Is it something I can live with?
If the answer to all three is yes, chances are you are doing the right thing.
Money can be earned again. Relationships can sometimes be repaired. Mistakes can be corrected.
But being able to live with yourself, and sleep peacefully at night, is priceless.
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To order Bunny’s best-selling book, Bunny’s Pages: 50 Lessons from my entrepreneurial journey please message him at 09173216224.
