THE joy that Easter brings—with its reminder of Jesus' sacrifice, steadfastness, love, and his promise of everlasting life—never ceases to make me feel hopeful and grateful. I guess for those who don't celebrate the holiday from a Christian standpoint, the egg is still symbolic for new life and beginnings. Even children have something to look forward to: Mr. Bunny and the treats inside his colorful eggs. Hope, gratitude, and happiness are definitely just a few of the key themes that resonate during this time.
But frankly, these are easy words to say and feel when people are healthy and fine. However, it can be a real struggle to feel all that when you're in rock bottom. In the latter part of 2011, that was exactly where I was.
My daughter was diagnosed with Rheumatic Heart Disease, along with Sydenham’s chorea (a neurological issue). Shortly after, I landed in the hospital for five days. It turned out I was seven weeks pregnant, and had early signs of pre-eclampsia. The doctor told me to rest (thankfully, with bathroom privileges)!
Rest sounds like a dream, right? But resting in bed all day, for roughly 33 more weeks to grow a baby in my tummy, was no walk in the park. That period left me a hormonal, emotional, and depressed wreck. For the most part, I was in tears!
I did not feel like I was me anymore. I could not work. I felt I was a failure as a wife and mother, being unable to function for my family. I could not even be healthy for my unborn child. Moreover, paranoia set in that the three anti-hypertension meds I was taking would somehow affect the fetus.
Thankfully, I have a best friend who visited/texted me almost every day and never failed to remind me that life is beautiful. See, periods like these are also blessings in disguise because people realize who their real friends are. It's akin to natural selection where only the best and worthy survive.
The turning point for me came when she gave me a gift. It was a book that I was meant to read my baby in-utero. It also came with her special letter attached just for baby #3.
Somehow, her act of kindness helped me snap out of my cloud of misery. It made me realize I was too busy focusing on me, me, and me. I took a picture of her gift and logged it onto my e-journal. And with that my Grateful Album was born...
From then on, I challenged myself to take a picture everyday of something that I was thankful for; things which made me happy, mostly life's simple pleasures. On top of that, I had to write something to tell the picture’s story.
Initially, it was difficult. I felt fake, even plastic, writing about happy things amidst my melancholia. But somehow, purposely looking for joy in every single day became empowering. It was rewarding to intentionally seek and live a life that would bring meaning, contentment, and peace.
So the challenge to pick one picture ceased being a challenge. It became a natural thing. Soon my journal was peppered with a lot of pics and words. It was then that this saying became truly tangible for me: happiness is a choice. It really is! No matter the weather, people can always make their own sunshine.
Doing that grateful album literally saved me. It is hard to feel negative when you live with an attitude of gratitude. Much later, even when my then newborn was in critical condition for neonatal pneumonia or my daughter had to undergo biopsy surgery for a lump on her neck; I was somehow able to sail through them without falling apart.
Feeling thankful opened up my eyes to enjoy what was already present. It also taught me to let go of those that I have no control over. There is joy in the lessons learned thru difficulties. Problems will come but I can always surpass them with His grace. To this day, I still purposely and intentionally live my life to seek out inspiring and positive things, people, and experiences. This includes choosing to see beauty and blessings in suffering. Sometimes, it takes more than the eyes to see…an open heart is the key.
May the grace of Easter remind us all that each day is indeed a new beautiful beginning. The fact that we wake up breathing is already a gift in itself. No matter what stumbling blocks life throws our way, we can still roll with its punches. Besides, there is always something to be grateful for everyday of our lives come what may. Thank you, Lord. Happy Easter!
