THIS must be my most welcome theme for my column for a long, long time.
In our country, we are known to be family-oriented in our way of living where a home is really complete when there are a grandfather and a grandmother, usually of the sibling who chooses to have his/her parents to live with them.
Normally, the grandparents are loved, cherished, and remembered by their children.
Their children, show their own children now how they love "Lolo" and "Lola" and that spells it.
The family unity and continuity are best observed in this beautiful situation.
I think this is true with the majority of families in our country. A few exceptions are observed where grandparents are treated as a burden by an uncaring son or daughter.
It is remarkable though that we have in every district or town a special "Home for the Aged", either privately managed by a philanthropic group or managed by the government agency.
Very seldom will one see an elderly beggar living in the streets or parks.
Good children who take care of their parents in their home are the best example for their children to follow later.
I find grandparents as the persons who perpetuate traditions and mode of clean and peaceful living in a home.
Love, care, praying to God, cooperation, sympathy are all shown and learned. Yes, it goes all around till your own generation at present.
Without grandparents, will you experience this? Grandparents are historians and chroniclers also. I enjoyed telling my grandchildren about World War 2. They wondered how we could live in an air raid shelter dug by their grandparents to escape bombing by the Japanese. How we evacuated from Manila to the mountains of Pililia, Rizal to protect ourselves; how we ate bread as hard as stones because the bakers used cassava instead of flour; how we ate "kastaniyog" small square pieces of coconut fleshy part fried in oil - my grandchildren were wondering how could this happen.
Other unbelievable events like putting charcoal on our faces so that the Japanese would leave us alone and not rape us; how we escaped from the church to escape bombing to the cemetery nearby to hide in the empty niches. My "apos" sighed with disbelief.
I read this anecdote about a grandfather that touched my heart. This family just hated the idea that their "Lolo" is a mess. He scattered food morsels around his plate, he broke glasses and cups because he is trembling. The family got a wooden glass and cup for him and made him seat in a table just for him. The youngest son in the family saw all of these.
One day they saw their son polishing a glass and a cup made of wood. What is that? They asked. He answered, I am preparing these for you when you grow old. You can conclude about the scene after this.
I was with the Senior Citizens Group of Pasig City. It broke my heart to see hundreds of forlorn, gloomy, unkempt men and women in the group.
The town mayor asked me what I could do for them. I asked some younger members to plan with me. We passed a questionnaire asking each one what talent she has, what handicraft she knows, why is she sad and unkempt and unsmiling. The answered sheets were analyzed by my group.
After long hours of organizing and practicing, we had an extravaganza show featuring handicrafts, food, songs, and dances.
It was a hit. The Mayor thanked us for the unbelievable transformation of the Lolos and Lolas of Pasig.
Going back to the grandparents in homes. They are lonely in their rooms without companions. They are longing for hugs and kisses, someone to talk and laugh with.
I found this out. Invent your own pleasurable activities. Do not allow your brain cells to be rusty, a prelude to forgetfulness and the dreaded Alzheimers’ ailment.
Use your brain, solve crossword puzzles, play scrabbles, challenge yourself. We have recently the coloring books for adults. Do all these. When you cannot remember something, force your mind to recall. Use related events to remind you. Do not give up till you get your answer. Socialize with friends. Use all available social media, your IPad, tablet, IPhone. You have yourself to blame if you choose to stay lonely in your room. You have TV, DVD, music player - use all these.
On my 85th birthday my nephew, with his family sent me this prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, we celebrate with You the 85th birthday of our dear Tita/Lola Fe who has lived long and well.
Thank you that she has journeyed through so many years and stages of life cultivating the gifts of wisdom, patience, persistence, and dependence on you.
We affirm the joy and wonder of your word in the scripture that says, "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life." (Proverbs 16:31 NIV).
We pray that You will continue to grant vigor, strength, and health this day and on all her birthdays to come. Bless her days with beautiful memories and much love with few worries. Provide the help she needs when tasks are so difficult. Be her constant companion when family and friends are far away. Protect her dwelling place and provide for her daily needs. Be with her on whatever path life will continue to take her. Bless her abundantly as she has blessed us with her grace, perspective, and love. In the name of the God of all ages we pray. Amen.
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