MOST often I’d get lost in jokes that play on pronunciation if the written word is not spelled the way it should sound.
For example, the sleeper Korean hit movie “Train to Busan” gave birth to a meme “Train to Busan; Trento, Agusan” and while others were rolling on the floor while laughing out loud, I was just staring at the meme.
When I have finally figured it out, everyone has gotten off the page. A mental note read: But it’s pronounced as “trayn” not “trEn”. Then there’s Oppo, a mobile phone brand. At a recent meeting, a friend repeated more than once that her phone was the most “magalang”.
Everyone giggled except me, of course. I lagged again and when I caught up another note stuck: it’s Ohp-poh not O-po, not even “upaw” and that’s when I laughed on my own.
And how can I forget “rospramrang”? Two years ago in Café Laguna in Ayala Cebu, I was part of the group that listened to Inting of DENR talk about the organizational problems of the multisectoral group that was supposed to protect the Tañon Strait. He knew the history well and my head swam with data that filled my notebook. Inting kept on repeating that part of the problem about people who weren’t fit for the job.
“Mga rospramrang man gud sila.” I thought it was a Cebuano word rendering true that Davao bisaya is pidgin compared to Cebuano. On the fifth “rospramrang” it was then when I realized he meant “rose from the ranks”. I almost choked on the delicious Café Laguna fresh lumpia when I realized that.
Just last week, I shared a hotel room with two women who’d get up at 4 in the morning and be fully sentient by then. I’d be up too but be in what I’ve self-labelled as my “autistic mode”. They’d be chattering about the previous day’s events and how to handle the next activities. I’d be mute but nodding most of the time not really knowing what I agreed to until I get my dose of caffeine and jolt from a warm shower. That’s about two hours after.
In one of those mornings, the discussion was about tithes and offerings.
My mom was an Adventist and taught us about tithes. One of my roommates was an Iglesia. Both churches, SDA and INC, seriously obey tithe-giving and while some see this as “forcing the member to give to the church”, my mom and my friend can cite bible verses why this is necessary. I have never disagreed with Mama specially when she wields bible verses.
Probably because women can talk about several topics at the same time, we talked about tithes and what clothes to wear in the same breath. When I added that “my mother encouraged tithes”, my friend replied “so you have a fashionable mom.” And then the gryllidaes started stridulating -- which simply means -- the crickets started chirping.
A few seconds (which felt like years) into the conversation, I realized she thought I meant “tights”! Literally, we rolled on the bed laughing. It was difficult to imagine my short (4’10”) mama wearing tights unless she was auditioning for a role in “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves”. Cruel but, true. But while I laughed early in the day about tithes and tights, I lost it at night during our nightly debriefings.
While a seasoned consultant was explaining a specific issue among the indigenous communities, I muttered: “I need another lifetime to understand the IP issues.”
Somebody (a nobody, in fact) reacted that I was “discriminating” to which I know I bitch-ly replied. It took me a week to realize that some people cannot figure out figurative speech and maybe she was one of those. It was no longer my fault and what was done, bitch or not, well, was done. Mental note: None.
In recent weeks, Indonesian president Widodo and President Duterte have been lost in translations about the fate of Mary Jan Veloso, the OFW duped into smuggling heroin into Indonesia. It was reported that Duterte said “Go ahead” meaning that “go ahead with the execution”. But Widodo later clarified that Duterte had said: “Please, go ahead with the process in line with the law in Indonesia.”
Widodo’s clarification then muted the dogs that yapped at Duterte and replaced them with stridulating gryllidaes.
